How's Your Diet Going?

You know, the older I get, the harder it is to lose weight...
My body and my fat have become such good friends over the years.

I started looking a little too much like Mary Kate Olsen,
then I decided the Kirsty Alley look was definitely more me.

I must be following my diet a little TOO closely.
I keep gaining on it!

Inside me there's definitely a thin person struggling to get out...
Luckilly it only takes a few doughnuts to calm her down!

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand... right?

Maybe if I fatten up everyone else around me,
then I'll look thinner... Here, have a cupcake!

I just don't understand it!
How can a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5?

I drive way too fast to worry about carbs!

Who needs a six-pack when you can have the whole keg?!

My aerobics instructor asked me to bend down and touch my toes.
I said, "I just don't have that kind of relationship with my feet.
How 'bout I just smile and wave?"