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| By Fred Topel
 Shooting Wads of White Stuff?
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Superman is no gayer because Bryan Singer directed Superman Returns than Indiana Jones was Jewish. But there are some other comic book superheroes who are way more suspiciously gay. Take a look:
5. The Phantom – His suit is purple. Is that really supposed to scare a bad guy? He looks more like an extra from The Birdcage.
4. Darkman – He swore off women, even though he had a hottie who didn’t mind that he only had half a face. But remember, the doctors severed his pain sensors so he’d be the perfect receiver.
3. Judge Dredd – All those muscles and all those big guns, you know he’s overcompensating for something.
2. Spider-Man – A limp wrested guy spews wads of white stuff. Hmmm.
1. Johnny Storm/The Human Torch – Dude, the guy’s catch phrase is “Flame on!” |
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Description: Superman is not gay but some other characters who aren't getting as much publicity make much more likely candidates for the celluloid closet.
"Pain receptor removal" proves nothing. For most people who like it (gay, straight, male, female, whoever), "reception" doesn't hurt. If it did, they would *not* like it. Other people have a kink called "masochism" and if it didn't hurt they'd be disappointed. No, the real proof of Darkman's gayness is that Sam Raimi invented her.