M. Night Surprises

Spoiler warning: If you haven’t seen any of these movies, my stupid jokes will ruin the real endings too.

The Sixth Sense – Originally, it turned out Bruce Willis was just gay the whole time. That’s why his wife ignored him. But that didn’t fly with the red states, so now he’s a ghost.

Unbreakable - This time, they tried to make Bruce Willis dead the whole time again. M. Night thought he’d fool us because we’d never think he’d do the same twist again. But making him a superhero was much cooler.

Signs - This movie was supposed to end with Danny Glover popping out and singing, “Signs, signs, everywhere signs.” He was unavailable so they threw together that cheesy looking alien.

The Village - It was supposed to turn out that the village was dead the whole time. He’s still trying to make that work again.

Lady in the Water - It turns out the water was dead the whole time. Seriously, let it go now.