| By Fred Topel
In Theaters Now
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Just because you get a bunch of movie stars together doesn’t mean it’ll be good. Martin Scorsese usually gets the best out of people. Even though The Departed isn’t his best work, it’s better than many other stunt casting attempts. Here are some big budget fiascos to watch out for. Even if you love everybody on the DVD cover, don’t be fooled:
10. Be Cool - There were so many people in this movie you can’t just blame John Travolta. The Rock actually made something out of it but even Vince Vaughn blew his hot streak by playing a white guy trying to be gangsta. To say this was Cedric the Entertainer at his funniest should give you a clue.
9. Elizabethtown - How could Cameron Crowe go wrong? Even though this was really a star vehicle for Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst, it was packed with so many great supporting actors – Susan Sarandon, Alec Baldwin, Jessica Biel – that we really wanted it to be better.
8. Mona Lisa Smile - It wasn’t enough for Julia Roberts to court the Oscar Academy for a second go-round as a pre-feminist 1950s schoolteacher. All the young starlets had to show off their period too. And by period we only mean that it took place in the past.
7. Ocean’s 11 - We’re talking about the original here. The remake was truly one of the best ensemble movies ever. But the original rat pack were musicians, and we all know what happens when musicians try to act.
6. Troy - A bunch of hunky guys fighting as gladiators, fine. That’s a good 90 minute fight fest. Don’t ask them to do another hour of acting. Please.
5. Mystery Men - So many funny people, so few jokes.
4. Death to Smoochy - Not only funny people, but great dramatic actors too. They all thought they were making an edgy, dark comedy. It was on the edge of something all right… boredom.
3. Lucky Numbers - Sorry Johnny T, we had to put you on this list twice. Here’s another supposed dark comedy. It certainly made us feel dark inside.
2. Mystic River - Sure, they all won Oscars, and it’s not that anybody gave a bad performance in this movie. But it’s such a hollow piece of manipulation. Oh, feel bad for the molested kid. Then feel bad for the murdered daughter, and her grieving father. And then make you think that somebody you like did something bad, and then set it all up to make you feel worse for some contrived injustice. Please.
1. Ready to Wear - Hmm, Julia Roberts and Tim Robbins got twofers on this list too. They and every other respectable actor jumped at the chance to work with legend Robert Altman. No disrespect, but they should have insisted on a script to go along with his reputation. |
