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Chapter
1:
GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, You're it.
2.
Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
3.
20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4.
Kick the bucket.
5.
Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6.
Doc Goose.
7.
Simon says something incoherent.
8.
Hide and go pee. (my favorite)
9.
Spin the Bottle of Mylanta
10.
Musical recliners.
Chapter
2:
SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE
1.
You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2.
Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove,
he is using
you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just
saying you are not amused, you shoot him.
3.
You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names
on them.
4.
The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate
Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.
5.
You change your underwear after every sneeze.
(another favorite)
Chapter
3:
SIGNS OF WEAR
"OLD"
IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs
and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I
can't do both!"
"OLD"
IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment You on your new alligator
shoe and you're barefoot.
"OLD"
IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker
opens the garage door.
"OLD"
IS WHEN..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out
of your face.
"OLD"
IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just
as long as you don't have go along.
"OLD"
IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor
instead of by the police.
This
will be a best seller for sure...be sure and pass it on
to your friends, family, and co-workers!!
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