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Orion Pictures, ZUMA Press
Rodney
Dangerfield may not have gotten respect but he sure
got alot of laughs. Here's some of the all time favorites
!! --If
it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all.
--And
we were poor too. Why if I wasn't born a boy I'd have
nothing to play with.
--Its
been a rough day. I got up this morning put on a shirt
and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and
the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
--I
could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were
a toaster and a radio.
--Once
when I was lost. I saw a policeman and asked him to
help me find my parents. I said to him 'Do you think
we'll ever find them?' He said 'I don't know kid. There
are so many places they can hide.'
--My
wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
--I
worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big
I'd get.
--I
had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep
in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading
my face.
--My
wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked
and now she's afraid of the light.
--When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always
found them.
--I
drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there
was an olive in it.
--My
wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day
she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May
was.
--My
sex life? Are you kiddin'? My sex life is like tryin'
to shoot pool with a rope.
--I'm
taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know
if I'm coming or going.
Pass
the fun quotes on to everyone on your email list and
don't let Rodney's laughter die out!!
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