9 Religions Simplified

Taoism - Sh*t Happens!
Confucianism - Confucius say “Sh*t Happens.”
Buddhism - If Sh*t Happens, it isn’t really Sh*t.
Zen - What is the sound of Sh*t Happening?
Hinduism - This Sh*t Happened before.
Islam - If Sh*t Happens, it is the will of Allah.
Protestantism - Let Sh*t Happen to someone else.
Catholicism - If Sh*t Happens, you deserved it.
Judaism - Why does Sh*t always Happen to us?